How Awareness Changed Everything

Introduction

Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions — checking off all the boxes of what life is “supposed” to look like, yet feeling numb, disconnected, and exhausted underneath it all?

In this episode of Mamahood After Trauma, I’m sharing the story of my personal turning point — the day I stopped living on autopilot and became aware that trauma was shaping my motherhood.

Breaking the Cycle: Healing from Trauma in Motherhood – Insights from "Motherhood After Trauma" with Emily Cleghorn

Motherhood is often painted as a time of joy, fulfillment, and connection. But for many women, especially those carrying the weight of unhealed trauma, it can also be a season of overwhelm, numbness, and survival. In a deeply personal episode of the "Motherhood After Trauma" podcast, host Emily Cleghorn shares her journey from living in survival mode to embracing healing—not just for herself, but for her child and the community of mothers walking a similar path.

This blog post unpacks the main themes and actionable insights from Emily’s story, offering a roadmap for mothers who recognize themselves in her words. If you’re feeling stuck, exhausted, or disconnected, know that you are not alone—and that healing is possible, one gentle step at a time.

Recognizing Survival Mode: The First Step to Healing

Emily’s story begins with a realization that may resonate with many mothers: living life on autopilot, checking off society’s boxes, and feeling perpetually exhausted and disconnected. She describes this as “survival mode,” a state where you’re not truly living, just getting by.

Key Signs You Might Be in Survival Mode

• Chronic exhaustion, even after rest
• Emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from yourself and others
• Reactivity, including explosive or withdrawn responses to everyday stressors
• A sense that life is just about getting through the day, not enjoying it

Actionable Advice

• Pause and Reflect: Take a moment to honestly assess how you’re feeling. Are you just surviving, or are you living with intention and presence?
• Release Shame: Recognize that survival mode is a natural response to trauma. There is no shame in it, only an opportunity for awareness and change.

The Power of Awareness: Moving Beyond Numbness

Emily’s turning point wasn’t a dramatic epiphany, but a quiet moment of awareness. She realized that her pain and reactivity weren’t just "normal motherhood struggles"—they were signs of deeper, unhealed trauma.

Why Awareness Matters:

• Awareness is the foundation of healing. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
• It’s not about fixing everything at once, but about noticing patterns and being curious about your reactions.

Expert Insight:

• Awareness is Uncomfortable: As Emily notes, becoming aware of your pain can be unsettling. It may bring up difficult emotions, but it’s also incredibly empowering.
• Awareness is Not Shame: Recognizing your struggles is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s the first act of self-compassion.

Asking the Right Questions: Uncovering the Roots

Once Emily became aware of her survival mode, she began to ask herself deeper questions:

• “Why am I reacting this way?”
• “What’s underneath this feeling?”
• “What do I actually need right now?”

How to Use Self-Inquiry for Healing

• Pause Before Reacting: When you notice a strong emotional response, take a breath and ask yourself what’s really going on beneath the surface.
• Journal Your Thoughts: Writing down your feelings and questions can help you identify patterns and triggers.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Approach your questions with kindness, not judgment.

Pro Tip

If you’re unsure where to start, Emily recommends taking the “Where Am I Now?” quiz (linked in her show notes) to help you identify your current stage in the healing journey.

Regulating the Nervous System: Practical Tools for Calm

A key part of Emily’s healing was learning to regulate her nervous system, a crucial skill for anyone healing from trauma.

Why Nervous System Regulation Matters

• Trauma keeps the body in a state of hypervigilance or shutdown, making it hard to feel safe or calm.
• Regulating your nervous system helps you respond to stress with more resilience and less reactivity.

Actionable Techniques

• Grounding Exercises: Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste).
• Breathwork: Practice slow, deep breathing to signal safety to your body.
• Movement: Gentle stretching, walking, or yoga can help release stored tension.

Resource

Download Emily’s free “Unlocking Piece Guide” for more practical tools to create calm and manage triggers.

Seeking Support: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

One of the most powerful messages from Emily’s story is the importance of seeking support. Healing from trauma is not a solo journey.

Ways to Find Support

• Professional Help: Consider working with a trauma-informed therapist or counselor.
• Peer Support: Connect with other mothers who understand your experience, whether through online communities or local groups.
• Trusted Friends or Family: Share your story with someone who can listen without judgment.

Community Insight

Emily emphasizes that you are not alone. There is a community of mothers walking this path, ready to support and encourage you.

Telling Your Story: The Healing Power of Expression

Putting her story into words, first through writing, then through podcasting, was a transformative part of Emily’s healing.

Why Storytelling Heals

• It helps you make sense of your experiences and see your growth.
• It breaks the isolation and shame that often accompany trauma.
• It empowers others to begin their own healing journeys.

Action Steps

• Start a Journal: Write about your experiences, feelings, and insights.
• Share Selectively: If you feel ready, share your story with a trusted person or community.
• Creative Expression: Art, music, or other creative outlets can also be powerful ways to process and express your journey.

Gentle Next Steps: Resources and Community

Healing is not about massive overnight change. It’s about small, consistent steps toward greater awareness and self-compassion.

Recommended Next Steps

• Download the Unlocking Piece Guide: Get practical tools for managing triggers and creating calm.
• Take the “Where Am I Now?” Quiz: Identify your current stage and discover your next gentle step.
• Share the Podcast: If Emily’s story resonates, share the episode with another mama who might need it.

Remember

You don’t need a perfect plan. Trust the stirring inside you that says, “This isn’t working.” That’s your turning point.

Final Thoughts: Mending the Past, Mothering in Peace

Emily’s journey is a testament to the power of awareness, self-compassion, and community in healing from trauma, especially in the context of motherhood. If you’re feeling stuck in survival mode, know that you are not broken, and you are not alone. Healing is possible, and it starts with noticing, asking questions, and taking one gentle step at a time.

You are mending the past so you can mother in peace. And that is something to be deeply proud of.

Additional Resources

• Unlocking Piece Guide: Download Here
• Where Am I Now? Quiz: Take the Quiz

About Emily Cleghorn

Emily Cleghorn is an award-winning Holistic Trigger Recovery Coach, bestselling author, podcaster, and sought-after speaker on a mission to help trauma-surviving mamas heal while parenting. Through her signature Mended Mama Method, Emily empowers moms to navigate triggers and tantrums with confidence, breaking free from reactive patterns and creating a peaceful, connected home.

Driven by her passion for creating positive generational change, Emily shares her powerful story of overcoming the grip of childhood trauma to inspire others that healing is possible; even in the chaos of motherhood. Her work has touched countless lives, giving mamas the tools and hope to reclaim their peace and raise emotionally healthy kids.