Can you recall a time when you felt utterly depleted, like every last ounce of energy had been drained from your body? For many trauma-surviving mamas, this feeling is all too familiar – a constant state of overwhelm and exhaustion that seeps into every aspect of life.

In the midst of this whirlwind, self-care often takes a backseat. It's not that we don't recognize its importance; it's that the very notion of carving out time for ourselves can feel like an insurmountable task. But what if I told you that even the smallest acts of self-care can make a world of difference?

The Transformative Power of Tiny Moments

During her journey through what she calls "hell year," Rach Wilson found herself barely treading water. With two young children – one on the autism spectrum and the other experiencing intense rages – and a household in constant survival mode, self-care seemed like a distant dream.

"I didn't even have the resources to reach out or think, 'Oh, I should do that for myself,'" Rach recalls. "If I got any moment, it was bed."

Suggested image: A visual representation of the overwhelming challenges Rach faced during "hell year"

Yet, even in those darkest moments, Rach discovered the transformative power of tiny acts of self-care. "If you can just take five minutes, even 30 seconds, where you just stop and breathe, where you relax your body and just breathe, it's these little things that take a little bit of the stress away," she advises.

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Redefining Self-Care in the Trenches

For Rach, self-care didn't always look like a luxurious spa day or a weekend getaway. Sometimes, it was as simple as asking a friend to take her kids for an hour so she could catch a much-needed nap. Other times, it meant indulging in a mindless television binge, offering a brief respite from the chaos.

"When you've got no capacity, you've got no capacity," Rach acknowledges. "And I just want any mama out there in that right now to know it won't last forever."

Suggested image: A visual representation of simple acts of self-care, like taking a nap or watching TV

Building a Support System

One of the most valuable lessons Rach learned during her darkest days was the importance of asking for help. "Don't be afraid to ask for help," she urges. "I had best friends coming to stay with me, offering to take the kids so I could sleep, taking me out."

In addition to leaning on her support system, Rach and her husband implemented a strategy to ensure they each got a night's respite every other week. "One of us would go and stay at a friend's place and just defrag, get one night's sleep," she explains.

Reclaiming Self-Care After Survival Mode

As Rach's family emerged from "hell year" and began to thrive once again, she faced a new challenge: relearning the habits of self-care that had fallen by the wayside during their darkest days.

"When it stops, you have to consciously choose to start doing more self-care," she advises. "That is your time to indulge in self-care before you overload your plate."

For Rach, this meant reincorporating simple rituals like showering regularly and brushing her teeth – tasks that had become nearly impossible during the depths of her family's crisis.

The Pendulum of Self-Care

"If you think about it as a pendulum, when you are so far burnt out, you've got to do so much more rest, as much rest as you can to get back to some kind of normal," Rach explains. "And it's okay to say no to people. It's okay to say no, I don't have capacity to do that today."

As trauma-surviving mamas, we often find ourselves caught in the cycle of putting everyone else's needs before our own. But Rach's story is a powerful reminder that self-care, no matter how small, is not a luxury – it's a necessity.

"It is absolutely okay to put your needs first wherever you can through this, beyond this," Rach affirms. "Just do whatever it takes to get what you need as much as you can through this, knowing that you won't get everything you need right now, but you will."

In the trenches of motherhood, when the weight of the world seems to be resting on our shoulders, it's easy to lose sight of ourselves. But by embracing even the simplest acts of self-care and leaning on our support systems, we can find the strength to not only survive but thrive.