Do you ever find yourself giving everything you have and then there's nothing left for you... no time, no energy... nothing. And you find yourself irritable and resenting everyone in your house... Maybe you become a hard person to live with?

I get it, I've been there.

It wasn't that long ago when I was journaling when through my pen tip flowed the revelation that I have a habit of self abandonment and/or self neglect.

Man, that stung.

So what's the answer? How do we break the habit?

I believe and in my personal experience, part of the answer is strengthening your ability to honour yourself.

What does that even mean?!?

When I think of honouring myself, I think of being aware of my needs being aware of my emotions, having a sense of self-awareness and not abandoning that because other people have needs or other things have needs, but fitting into my day, ways that I can honour myself and be aware of and nurture the emotions, the feelings the needs that I have so that I can show up for my family as the best version of myself that I can on any in any given moment.

Now as a trauma survivor… If you have been taught that your needs don't matter, or you don't matter, or anything of that nature. It's hard you're self-honouring muscle tends to be weaker.

I know for myself that my self-honouring muscle was weaker than any muscle physiologically in my body. I had to learn how to identify and be aware of my emotions, my needs, my triggers all of those things. So that I could begin to strengthen that muscle and these six ways that I'm going to share with you today are going to help you to begin to strengthen your self-honouring muscle if you will.

How does one begin start to strengthen their ability to honour themselves if they haven't been taught how to from childhood?

Well, it's all part of the healing process but here are 6 ways that you can begin.

1. Make a plan

When you make a plan, you're thinking about what foods or activities give you energy and which ones suck your energy into account when you are creating a daily or weekly plan. If you find yourself stacking too many energy suckers together, you're going to find that you lack the energy to do the things required to achieve a desired goal.

2. Listen to your body

This is counterculture because our society has trained us from a very, very young age that our body doesn't know what it's doing. Our body doesn't know what it needs. It doesn't know what's wrong with it. It doesn't know any of it. However, I am here to say that your body was geniusly created. It knows exactly what it needs when it needs it and it is trying to communicate with you through cravings, aches, pains, bloating, and other symptoms to get you to listen and we tend to not listen.

3. Eat

Schedule for energy Simply put planning for energy by being strategic with the food choices and task planning.

4. Make sure your stomach and brain are on the same page

In our society, we have a tendency to eat so fast that your stomach says, "well I'm full", but your brain has not caught up to your stomach because you've eaten so quickly. So you keep eating. (that's where overeating comes in) You keep eating until your brain says, "okay, that's enough", and by that time your stomach's like, "well that's too much."

Making a physical motion that signals your brain that you are done eating helps it to catch up without you overeating.

5. Say it out loud

From a nutrition perspective, this is paired with tip number 4, you do the physical motion of pushing your plate away and you say, "Wow, that was delicious! I'm so full."

From a life perspective, it means practicing to say "no" when your schedule is full.

6. Ask for Support

I recognize that as trauma survivors, we have a hard time asking for help. As humans, we have a hard time asking for help. I've been there I still go there from time to time.  There's so much fear associated that can be associated with asking for help. For a more in-depth description of each, please watch the video below.

I am a trauma recovery coach and the founder of the Mamahood After Trauma. Right now in the Mamahood After Trauma Inner Circle, we are walking through the 12 stepping stones to living empowered and calm.

This blog today was a small portion of the 12 stepping stones.

If you enjoyed what you heard if you resonated with what you've heard, if you want to hear more if you want more of the stepping stones, here's a link for you to join the Mamahood After Trauma Inner Circle so that you can access the other stepping stones.

When you're growing up and you've experienced some attachment trauma, some developmental trauma, whatever you want to call it whichever stage it was at your house. The foundation on which you are building your life on is a little bit crumbly and it doesn't always align with who you were created to be. Who you were created to be gets locked up in a vault and it's hard to access that part of yourself because the vault is thick.

The 12 stepping stones come in and stepping stone number one is like laying the foundation. We are building a foundation for the other stepping stones which build the rest of the house. By the end, by the 12th stepping stone, you will have a springboard for success for moving towards whatever goal that you have for yourself.

If you really want to be a mama who is in control of her emotions and doesn't fly off the handle at any given moment because some kids screeched or whatever that change is possible with the 12 stepping stones.

If you are someone who turns to food when you feel happy, sad, angry, alone depressed and you want to stop feeding your emotions with food. You can do that with the 12 stepping stones.

The 12 stepping stones are absolutely free within the Mamahood After Trauma Inner Circle.